


How Steve Rogers Adopted an Asshole That Isn't Named Bucky

by surgicalzebra



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cats, Gen, M/M, Steve is a cranky curmudgeon for some reason, adopting a pet, animals can help heal, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 11:22:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surgicalzebra/pseuds/surgicalzebra
Summary: Bucky finds an abandoned cat and adopts it.  Steve doesn't want to, but the cat wins.





	How Steve Rogers Adopted an Asshole That Isn't Named Bucky

**Author's Note:**

> They always say write what you love. I love cats and Stucky. And now this exists. I hope you enjoy my fun!  
> Proof read by @danger_floof because she is the best.

Steve, having been interrupted from his painting 3 times in the last hour by Tony, was ready to throw his paints across the room. Answering the latest call, he put the phone on speaker and turned back to his canvas.

“I swear to god Tony, if you are calling about anything but an alien level emergency, I will come to the tower right now and kick your ass.” Finishing the background he was shading, Steve continued, “What do you want this time?”

“Uh, babe, its me. Can you come get the door for me? I’ve been knocking, but I guess you’ve been in the zone.” The soothing baritone of his husband came through the phone. “I’ve got my hands full, if you could come help.”

“Shit, yeah, Buck. I’ll be right there.” As he was hanging up, he heard Bucky mumble something, but couldn’t quite make it out. He stuffed his phone in his back pocket as he opened the door. Once he does, he sees Bucky encumbered by many bags, a plastic bin, and- “is that CAT LITTER?”

Blushing, Bucky nodded. Making his way into the apartment, he very carefully put most of his load down and cradled the now obvious bump under his hoodie. The *wiggling* bump under his hoodie.

Putting on his bitch face, Steve crossed his arms and asked, “What have you done now?”

Pointedly ignoring Steve, Bucky picked up the litter box and litter, stroked the bump and headed down the hall to their guest bathroom. Following, Steve wondered for the millionth time what the heck he was going to do with Bucky. The love of his life. A former soldier with PTSD like nobody’s business. A god damned bleeding heart.

Bucky looked over his shoulder at Steve. “Get in or get out. Shut the door either way.” Once the door clicked shut with Steve inside, Bucky climbed into the bathtub and slowly unziped his hoodie, murmuring words of comfort the whole time. Soon enough, Steve saw two golden eyes poking out, with half an ear missing, dirty fur, and a bad attitude. As soon as it caught sight of Steve, it hissed and clawed its way up Bucky’s chest.

“God damn asshole!” Letting go of the cat completely, Bucky ripped his shirt open to look at the damage. Three bright red claw marks showed up on his chest, but he could see them healing as he looked at them. Glaring at Steve, he pointed to the door. “OUT.”

Half an hour and a long phone call with Sam later, Steve finally saw his husband sneaking out of the bathroom. Telling Sam he had to go, Steve threw his phone down on the couch. “Buck…”

Holding up his hand, Bucky stopped Steve from finishing his thought. “I don’t care what you have to say. We are adopting this cat. I’ve already named her.”  
Frowning, Steve tried arguing. “We don’t know if it has an owner. We should put posters up around the neighborhood.”

Smiling, Bucky shot down that argument.

“I’ve taken her to a vet and she doesn’t have a tattoo or a microchip. I don’t think anyone is missing that little lady.

“That thing is disgusting. You don’t want to start finding fleas around the house, do you? And it’s dirty and matted.”

Bristling at Steve calling his new friend a “thing,” he calmly replied, “That’s why she’s confined to the bathroom. I got a flea shampoo along with all the other supplies. The vet said if we give her one bath a day for the next couple days would get rid of any pests she has.”

“You can’t expect me to help with that. I’m ALLERGIC, Buck. We can’t keep it.” Wincing, Steve knew this was the weakest argument he could pull out, but there was no going back now.

“Bull. Fucking. Shit. You haven’t been allergic to anything since you got that damn serum injection. I know what you’re going to say Steve, and there is no logical reason we can’t keep her. Besides, my therapist said it might do me good to get a pet. Having something to take care of can help my recovery. Something about having something dependent on me being good to help with routine and recovery.”

Flagging, Steve knew he’d lost the fight before it had really begun. After everything with the Accords had settled down, amendments had been made, and everyone had been cleared, Bucky and Steve had gotten married in a civil ceremony as soon as possible. It had been simple, with Nat and Sam as witnesses. The only extravagant thing about the whole day was the party Tony threw at the tower. Bucky and Steve had gone only long enough to make a point of being there, and then had gone to their rooms in the tower, blocked JARVIS from monitoring anything, and had a fantastic wedding night.

Shortly after, Bucky had left for a couple months of intensive therapy. Since he’d come back, there had been some bad nights, but overall, Steve could see what good it was doing for Bucky. And Bucky knew that Steve would do almost anything for his recovery.

“Fine. But you’re doing all the work. She’ll be your responsibility.” Steve was trying to hold firm, and this was his last-ditch effort.

“Fine.” Bucky turned on his heel and went back into the bathroom, taking the portable speaker with him. Soon, Steve could hear soothing music from the bathroom, with Bucky’s velvet voice barely heard over it, talking to the cat as he ran the bath water.

\-----

Steve ended up sleeping alone for 3 nights. It seemed Bucky was serious about keeping this cat and acclimating her to their lives, and so he slept with her in the bathroom.

The first day had Steve still trying to convince Bucky that they couldn’t keep her.

“Come on, Buck. We have too many missions that we go on to be able to be responsible owners.”

“We? Pal, I’m benched until my therapist and I say so. And I don’t see that happening any time soon. Besides, cats are pretty damn self-sufficient. Once she’s acclimated, we could leave her alone for a day or so with food and my lil’ Asshole will be perfectly fine.”

Steve stalked off to his studio. He was becoming hard pressed to find reasons they couldn’t keep Assy, as Bucky had taken to calling it. Apparently, he thought naming the cat Asshole was funny and there was no changing his mind.

Steve got three separate calls the second day, yelling at him for trying to get Buck to give the cat up. Nat and Sam spouted the same therapy crap that Bucky had because they knew that Bucky’s recovery was important to Steve. The third call had come in the form of a speaker phone conversation with Pepper and Maria. They had yelled at him for trying to take comfort away from Bucky, as if Steve had wanted to intentionally hurt him. After Bucky had come home, he had formed some inexplicable bond with the ladies of the Avengers, and they had semi-regular “meetings”. Anytime they felt his recovery was threatened, they all rushed to defend him to the nearest culpable party. In this case, Steve.

“Okay, I get it. I’m letting him keep the damn cat. What else can I do to get back in your good graces??” Steve desperately wanted to stay on their good side. Crossing Pepper, Maria, and Natasha was something one never wanted to do, especially when it came to the people they cared about. You just never knew what they would do to extract their revenge.

“Make us some of those lemon bars and we’ll call it good. Send them with Bucky for our next meeting.”

Sighing, Steve pinched his nose. “Sounds good. I’ll see you guys at training tomorrow.”

\----

The fourth day after Bucky brought the cat home (who turned out to be a slender ginger tabby, once all the grime was washed off her), Steve was sent off on a mission to Argentina to oversee some peace talks between the rebels and the government.

Coming home three days later, he let himself in their apartment after a full day of briefings. He could hear Bucky in the living room, laughing over some sort of tinkling noise. Despite knowing Bucky could hear him, Steve was quiet as he walked towards the living room, wanting to see what was going on.

When he got to the archway, he saw Bucky standing with a pole in his hands, a bunch of brightly colored feathers tied to the end of a long string. Wiggling the pole, Bucky stared at the ground where Asshole (seriously, who gave him naming rights anyway?) was crouching, eyes dilated and ready to pounce. Once she jumped, Bucky would pull the pole JUST out of her reach, making her that more eager to catch it.

“Looks like someone was having fun while I was gone.” Steve walked up behind Bucky and gave him a hug. Asshole ran off and hid under the couch.

“Damn it, Steve. She was doing so good out in the open. Now I’m gonna have to start all over.” Bucky turned in Steve’s arms and greeted his husband with a deep kiss. “I did miss you, however, so I’ll forgive you this one time.”

Rolling his eyes, Steve put on his best groveling voice. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be more careful to not interrupt your playdate next time.” Looking over Bucky’s shoulder as he gave him a big hug, Steve spied Assy coming out from under the couch, heading towards their legs. Pulling back, he scrunched up his eyebrows.

“Uh…Buck? Is your cat missing a leg?”

“Yeah. Her front left leg. Vet said she was born without one. Said she was lucky to survive, because usually cats will abandon sick or deformed kittens.”

“Everything makes so much more sense now...I’m gonna go shower.” With that, Steve turned and started stripping his clothes off on the way to their en suite. What he didn’t see, however, was Assy crouching and pouncing on his shirt as he dropped it. Rolling around, she started purring. Smiling, Bucky knew it was just a matter of time now…

\----

A month later, Bucky came home from a therapy appointment, announcing his entrance loudly. Receiving no response, he called out again. Walking through to their bedroom, he saw Steve sprawled on the bed in the middle of a nap. On top of Steve lay Assy, spread out along his large back, and purring. When he came closer, she opened one eye with a “mrrrp” sound and stretched her long body along Steve’s spine. Lying down on the bed, Bucky looked and saw one of Steve’s eyes open.

“Fine. We can keep her. I refused to call her our baby or our child or anything.”

Chuckling, knowing that was as weak an argument as all of Steve’s others, Bucky turned to his side, grasping Steve’s hand with his flesh hand and stroking Assy’s side with the metal one. Before slipping into a nap beside his husband he whispered one last sentence.

“I win, punk.”


End file.
